Up early this morning to see if the Scots would have the guts to vote for independence. Apparently not.
There's often lots of movement in and around the hostel early - people leaving to go onto Galway or south to Kerry, or to catch an early ferry to the islands. This morning I had the company of a grumpy elderly Australian, one of those people who insist on making their phone calls via the speaker on their mobile. Apart from learning more about the Australian ringtones, I expected nothing but vexation.
The first thing to know is that the call was between two Kens, one here, the other 12,000 miles away.
''It's Ken M-n, can I speak to Ken?''
Hello? I can't hear you. Hello.''
''It's Ken here. I'm in Ireland and I'm calling about my Superfund.''
''Hello? Is anyone there?''
Redials. ''Hello, it's Ken here can I speak to Ken?
''Hi Ken. I'm calling about my Superfund. Sell eBay.''
At this point I assumed he meant shares rather than the entire company, although you do hear about eccentric billionaires trawling along the west coast of Ireland and he did have a posh push bike.
''Ken, I can barely hear you. What do you want me to do?
The conversation went along like this for a couple of minutes until...dead line.
He went through all this again after redialling, until OzKen finally got it - sell eBay. ''Ok Ken, I'll send the confirmation to you.''
Two minutes later he was back on the phone.
''Hi, it's Ken here in Ireland, can I speak to Ken?''
It doesn't take a great leap of imagination to work out what followed next. Finally he made it through to 0zKen.
''Ken, keep the money from eBay in $US.''
''Im sorry Ken, I'm only hearing 10% of what you're saying.'' (I'm sure that 10% was OzKen's commission)
''Keep eBay in $US!''
Dead line. ''Shit.''
''Hi Ken. You want me to sell eBay and do what with the money? Ok, keep it in sterling?''
As can be imagined grumpy IrishKen was getting frustrated, and remember, he was called grumpy for a reason. Eventually OzKen got the message and all was well.
Two minutes later, grumpy IrishKen was back on the phone.
''Hi, its Ken. I'm calling from Ireland, can I speak to Ken?''
''Hello. who's this. Who do you want?''
''It's Ken. I'm in Ireland. I've been speaking to Ken about my Superfund.''
''Sorry, wrong number.''